A Jewish Carpenter

On the eve of my cruise, as I finish packing last minute things and cleaning up my apartment, that dreaded feeling sweeps over me...the thought of the four words that I will, no doubt, be asked by at least half of my 14 family members I will be joining on these 7 joyous days at sea...'Are you dating anyone?' Seems innocent enough but for any single person reading this you understand how not fun it is to say 'No' and how even more not fun it is to hear their responses..the 'You just haven't found the right one' or the 'I'm sure you'll find someone soon' or even better the 'I have this neighbor who has a brother who's son's, wife's, cousin's, co-worker would be perfect for you'. I was on a few short weeks from being able to answer 'YES!' to this question, and I can honestly say to you that this very thought was on my mind 3 weeks ago when things seemed to be going somewhere with Mr. Blind Date. I already know my grandma, God bless her, thinks my standards are to high...(this coming from a woman with 2 daughters with a boat load of failed relationships and marriages, and who has some sort of 'freedom' after a 59 year marriage to my grandpa after his passing). Little do they care that it is very possible that I have the highest income of my graduating class (proving a point here, not being arrogant about this) or that in 3 years I've received 2 promotions...that I'm financially stable and able to survive in the big city alone.
I heard a message once on this topic from a author who wrote a book for Christian singles. She said we always have a 'Yes' answer to this question...something along the lines of...Are you dating anyone? Why yes, he's a Jewish Carpenter, always with me, always providing for me, and he loves me more then anything in the world...it went on and on...is she JOKING? Does she know my cousins? Does she honestly believe that this would help the situation at all? Clever as it may be..that ain't going to fly. I think the cracks on that would be far worse then the lesbian jokes I'll guarantee I'll get because of my single status.
I know that I shouldn't care about what they all think and that saying 'No' to the dreaded question is far from a crime, after all I'm only 25...and who know's, 'the one' really could be around the corner...or the hot waiter serving me a cold beverage...but then again, even if he's not...there's IS always the Jewish Carpenter.