Monday, May 31, 2004

Why can't every weekend be a 3 day weekend?

Well, it's Memorial Day weekend...and I have one more day of freedom before returning to the grind. So far the weekend has been a success. I was able to go out with some new friends on Friday and had a really good night. Most of the day Saturday I spent at home hanging out in the rain...and actually I hate to admit this...but a friend of mine gave me tapes of all the seasons of Dawsons Creek, and because I really only watched the last 2 seasons, I have become addicted to see what lead up to the Pacey/Joey/Dawson love triangle. I think I'm somewhere at the end of season 2 but its really hard to tell considering they all run together (and are all so very much alike...Dawsons with Joey, they break up, they get back together, they break see where this is going). Any how, after watching a few episodes of good ole Dawson, I headed down to Indiana to see my parents...went to dinner...watched the Cubs game with my grandparents...a little time in my parents hot tub...all in all very relaxing. Today we went to church, spent time at my other grandmas about an hour south of here, for the most part tried to avoid being outside what-so-ever because of the horrible storms we have been having. My dad and I played NHL Hitz for about 4 hours tonight...until we both had blisters on our thumbs, it was awesome! Tomorrow I decided to stay down here and spend one more day with my meals, a movie, what else can I ask for. I hope everyone else is having a great Memorial day weekend...Friday seems like a distant, a thing of the past...if only ever weekend was 3 days.

Friday, May 28, 2004

As I walked out of my office today I'm a bit giddy...a smile on my face...i feel a bit like skipping, but restrain myself because I don't want this feeling to be ruined by blank 'crazy' person stares. It's the feeling of being in love yet I'm not...maybe its because the sun is shining...maybe its the joy of a Friday with an upcoming weekend before a 3 day weekend...maybe its the ipod that's on its way...I prefer to think its the overwhelming joy of the Lord. I'm overcome with a happiness...a drunkenness persay, my cup runneth over.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Summer and Sunsets in the City

Big props to God what a show. The sunset was amazing tonight. I rollerbladed to the lake front to meet some friends for beach volleyball. It was a tank top kinda night which I never complain about. While playing with the cool sand squishing between my toes for the first time this year, looking straight ahead I see the city surrounded in purple clouds, to my right, the bike path filled with runners, bikers, bladers all with a smile on their faces...the sun setting in the most amazing colors, and to the left we got a cool breeze coming in off the was one of those sun sets that was good to the last drop. The only thing missing was my camera...I wish so much that I had it with me...its not fair that I can't share the city wrapped in all those awesome picture and I could have probably paid for the ipod. It was a good night to live in the city...a very good night.

The ipod

I ordered the ipod...its on its way...i did it...i finally did...and it feels pretty good...

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Swing: Big Night Out

This is me and my 'relationship' (or lack there of) therapist/great swing dancer/friend Noel and I at the 'Big Night Out' event on Friday. Some random guy was walking around the swing event on Friday taking pictures and putting them on the web to get you to register for some Young Professionals website...i couldn't save the picture unless I 'registered'...HA! I print screened na na na! Register smegister. Posted by Hello

Monday, May 24, 2004

Well, for all of those I took abuse from the past couple weeks for my quilt it is...I have suffered the abuse but I am pretty proud of the final results.
 Posted by Hello

Since it is so large it's hard to get a decent picture of it but here is part 1... Posted by Hello

part 2 Posted by Hello

Standing Outside The Fire...

We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk the tables being turned

We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always comes with getting burned

But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire

We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall

We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all

They're so hell-bent on giving ,walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can't abide
Standing outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire

-Garth Brooks

Sunday, May 23, 2004

I really have wanted to write lately but nothing interesting enough has happened in the last few days that would be half way interesting to write about. I am getting ready to prepare for a study I have to lead tonight at 20somethings on Homosexuality. To a group of Christians this wouldn't usually be a very controversal topic, however, I lead the 'new comers' group which is usually full of people from a variety of backgrounds of religion or lack there of. Tonight will be a stretch of the comfort zone for me. They gave me some great resources to pull from and hopefully they will come in handy tonight. If anyone is interested: or or (scroll down half way to find 'homosexuality.  Posted by Hello

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Tonight I may be actually be forced to go to bed at a decent hour. My friend Jeanne who is a missionary in Bulgaria is in the states for a short time and was able to come up and visit for the evening. We had a great time and I'm really glad she made it up to see me. Then we got hit by some nasty storms and she got very tired waiting them out so she is asleep on the couch and I don't have a whole lot of options. It is a good thing, because I have been wearing myself out lately. Tonight is a great night to lay in bed and hear the thunder and the rain falling on the roof while drifting off to sleep. Its one of those nights you look forward to the storms.  Posted by Hello

I love this new program 'Hello' . Now I can add pictures, I'm very excited. I knew it was only a matter of time. Not like I needed another instant messanger tool to mess arond with but hey, I'm not complaining. So far it seems fast and easy. I just downloaded, attached the picture, and posted in about 3 minutes. (Thank God for DSL :)  Posted by Hello

Chrissy and Me at her Wedding. Posted by Hello

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Pictures as promised...

Wedding pictures can be found Here!

Saturday, May 15, 2004

And Another One Bites The Dust...

Another day, another single friend lost forever...Chrissy got married today to Chris Miller, now my 2 best friends from home are both married and both have the last name Miller. Funny how that worked out huh? The guys aren't related but both grew up in the same town...strange...
The wedding was outside and it was FREEZING! It may have been 55 but with the wind it felt like 48 and we were in the shade. Our dresses were strapless and did not help the situation at all. Luckily it was quick and we lost feeling after about 15-20 minutes.
It was a wonderful wedding, Chrissy looked beautiful as always and it made me yet again realize how single I was. I can't wait to get back to the city where my realization fades as soon as I get any where near the vicinity of Lincoln park. I feel very blessed to be fortunate enough to live where I live and it will only get better as it gets warmer.

I should have some pictures up tomorrow.

Pea's in the Corn Fields

This afternoon I attended my friends wedding rehearsal in Merriville, Indiana at a banquet hall on the outskirts just before you hit the corn fields of Indiana. When we arrived there were several semi's and big tour buses in the parking lot. I knew that Merriville High School was to have their prom there later on that night. What I didn't know was that MTV was going to be there filming it all. Apparently some girl from MHS had won an MTV contest to have MTV follow her around to film her prom experience. While it was apparent that something was going to be different at this prom...the excitement of the trucks, notices posted that if you enter the building you will be video taped, just a buzz around the building. As we stood in the lobby of the hall trying to stay out of the rain before the rehearsal (which was outside), 4 or 5 large African Americans were headed toward the doors...something was different here and I couldn't decide what it was...while the older crowd clutched their purses a little tighter...I joked to watch out and make way for 50 cents...I noticed the first guy with security badages around his neck and everything else went so quickly as they were wisked away to a side room...okay I thought...I think I should know who that was...Michael Brady to the was a memeber of The Black Eyed Peas...Mtv brought them along to perform at the Prom...I can only imagine what he was thinking as he walked through the lobby with a bunch of middle classed white people who were clearly looking at him like a) a hoodlum or b) ignoring his presence...he was probably laughing inside at the room of crackers who had no idea who he was. Little did everyone know...

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Quarter Life Crisis = Obvious Inability To Find Your Own Boyfriend

So apparently another symptom of turning 25 is that no one thinks you will be able to find a mate on your own. So they kindly take matters in their own hands..neighbors, friends, kids of friends, people they've met at the gym, a waiter on my parents cruise, 80's Dave (after all he did just get rid of his mullet)...I get all kinds of offers. A friend of mine went so low to create me an online personal without me knowing it. How sad is it that that is even possible? She thought it inappropriate to converse with guys so she let me in on the secret. I refuse to reply to any of the messages that I have been getting...try as she might, I am not meeting a guy over an online dating thanks. I understand that in 25 years, my attempts have been weak and unsuccessful...even a bit pathetic in a few cases. I'm on my way to turning into one of those people that you have to think something is wrong with them to still be single...cause its not possible that they just couldn't have found the right one...GASP!

Friday, May 07, 2004

Do you ever wonder what things would be like if you died?

I'm not being morbid...and I'm not talking about what would happen to your soul. I think we all know where that's going. I'm talking about what will would happen here on Earth...right here right now. Who would come to the funeral? I wonder who's tears would be the sobbing kind. Or if my ex-boyfriends would care. I don't even start to imagine what my family would go through...That's not really what I'm talking about. I'm talking about those people in your life...that you're not really sure where you stand...those people. How much difference did you make in their lives? What would they do w/ your desk at work if you were tragically taken...clear your stuff obviously but who would be the first to take it over? Who would get your stuff? I'm not on this Earth to please man and I can't say I think about this often but there are times when I wonder...

God is talkin but sometimes what I hear is jumbled...

National Day of prayer was yesterday and for the first time I fasted. I debated posting about it because I don't want to make a big deal about it but I feel the need to write about some stuff that I think is coming from that. It was not an easy thing for me. I am blessed with headaches..horrible ones. So I didn't think I could make it through the day w/o one. But I did, he is gracious. Yesterday was not easy at work...I had a hard time concentrating and I had a big deadline in less then 24 hours. So busy at work that I did not get to take my lunch which I had planned as God time. I know its hardly an excuse but for the life of me I could not get a way. So I went straight home and prayed...and read...and prayed some more. Woh Colossians kicked my tale a bit. There is so much in that book that I had needed to hear and didn't want to admit. Why I picked Colassians? I feel it cheesey to say that God led me there but I don't have a better answer. So as I read I felt like I needed to continuously read it over and over. But I felt like the still small voice was missing for a few things I really wanted answers for yesterday. I know it's his timing and not mine but I was confident he was going to spell it out for things happened today that only added to my confusion...was he testing me? Challanging me to remain steadfast and faithful, to continue listening for him even if it hurts. I don't I sit...and try to be quiet...but the silence is so...silent.

Currently Reading...

I almost hate to post what I am currently reading...because when I say what it is you're gonna think that i'm 'that girl' and I'm not. I feel like I need to preface it with the reasons I am reading this book. First of all, some of the guys in the 20somethings group I go to have read it and love the book...make references to it like its some secret boy book. Second of all, I had a good guy friend of mine tell me I needed to read it. So I picked it up and now am having a hard time putting it down. The book is called 'Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul' by John Eldredge, written aimed at guys...but has been a real eye opener for me...growing up in a house of dominating poor father lost his spirit a bit. We sucked it out of him...reading this book may save any male that comes in my life from doing the same. I post this for one reason...because if I was a guy...I would have wanted some one to tell me to pick this book up. To read it and regain the lost spirit...even if you don't think its gone.

Thursday, May 06, 2004 it over yet?

If I have to hear ..."I'll be there for you..." one more time, I may lose my mind. I am fan of Friends...have been for the last 10 years but you can not even turn NBC on without hearing that theme song...over and over and over. It's one of those that never leaves...I'm pretty sure I'll be singing it for 10 more years.

I have had my newest 'big' purchase for 7 days now. The "Ionic Breeze" air purifiers. For a little under 500 dollars you too can be the proud owner of clean air. I will say they have pulled a lot of things of dust and what not out of the air and has made my place have a fresh sort of sense in the air. However it is a bit sad I have to pay money for clean air.

Don't forget Mother's Day on Sunday.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Has Hell Frozen Over?

Wow...what a week. First the minister that has been at my home church resigned after about 15 years..a total shocker to everyone in the congregation. To make matters worse, he's going to another church down the road. Today, the head of my division...the big man...the leader of the boys club, going to a major competitor...and they are replacing him with a WOMAN! GASP! Triple shocker! And to top it all off they fired the guy that sleeps (and snores mind you) in his chair all day. Apparently you can only sleep all day for 15 years before you get the boot.

Monday, May 03, 2004

Jazz Hands!

So I had this new male interest. I have been talking to him the past couple of weeks. There was always something about him that I could never put my finger on. He was very sweet, very understanding, very encouraging..very unmale like. While I talked and talked about different things going on with me and I watched him sympathize and nod his head compassionately...i realize he wears A LOT of I hate to make assumptions about males wearing Abercrombie...but I live next door to an Abercrombie...I see what comes in and out of there. He's a pretty good dresser too...and all of the sudden it starts to come together. love interests come to a screeching halt...he's has to be that I think about it...often times when I am talking to him I feel like he may give me the...'Jazz Hands'...he's very show choirish...I hear the little voice in the back of my head saying...'Just Jack' and suddenly I can not look at my love interest in the same way. I have lost a great deal of attraction. I hate to judge people or make assumptions but I think I'm right about this one.

Rainy Saturdays!

I love rainy Saturdays. This past Saturday was one of them. After a late night I got out of bed at 11 only to find my cable was out. Which I was NOT to happy about to say the least. I decided to download a movie off the internet...ahh the wonderful world of technology. After watching that I took a nap until 3, put on the velour sweat suit to walk to Micky D's...the fact is that if I wasn't craving a cheese burger I probably would have never gotten dressed. I did eventually clean up a little, got my summer clothes out, worked on the T-shirt quilt I am starting it wasn't a total waste. It was one of the most relaxing days I've had in a long time and I think they are needed every once in a while.
I blame it all on the fact that my parents left me. They are on a cruise for their 30th wedding anniversary. My dad didn't want to be the third wheel so I wasn't allowed to go and I'm not happy about it. Such is life I guess.

Saturday, May 01, 2004

"Where's everyone like you tonight?"

Tonight I went dancing again. Let me explain the swing dance scene here. First of all, from the first time I went out dancing I have always aspired to be one of the great dancers (heck I'd settle for good) I see dancing up a storm. There are some unbelievable dancers here. When you go out swing dancing you can definitely tell who the regulars are, who the wanna be's are, the newbee's, and who's not from around here. I have really improved my dancing over the past 2 years and don't really know where I fit in the scene. I don't know where other dancers place me nor where I place myself. Tonight there was clearly a guy from out of town, initial assessments were that he was a decent dancer but definitely not one who is from around here (all of this before he ever hits the dance floor) now I know enough to tell the different swing styles, the different look, and familiar faces usually at first glance. So when he does hit the floor I do see that he knows what he is doing and that he is probably an active dancer where ever he is from. Half way through the night he asks me to dance. We chat while dancing (which I will admit is much harder then chewing gum and walking...I am sure I will never master the art). I find out he's from DC. He then says something to me that may have been the biggest compliment I have ever received about my dancing...the crowd was a little thin tonight b/c of the rain and he says, "Where's everyone like you tonight?" those reading this you are waiting for the other shoe to fall, but you have already missed it. He asked ME, where everyone like ME was tonight...meaning the good dancers....meaning that he catergorized me with the good Wow!