God is talkin but sometimes what I hear is jumbled...

National Day of prayer was yesterday and for the first time I fasted. I debated posting about it because I don't want to make a big deal about it but I feel the need to write about some stuff that I think is coming from that. It was not an easy thing for me. I am blessed with headaches..horrible ones. So I didn't think I could make it through the day w/o one. But I did, he is gracious. Yesterday was not easy at work...I had a hard time concentrating and I had a big deadline in less then 24 hours. So busy at work that I did not get to take my lunch which I had planned as God time. I know its hardly an excuse but for the life of me I could not get a way. So I went straight home and prayed...and read...and prayed some more. Woh Colossians kicked my tale a bit. There is so much in that book that I had needed to hear and didn't want to admit. Why I picked Colassians? I feel it cheesey to say that God led me there but I don't have a better answer. So as I read I felt like I needed to continuously read it over and over. But I felt like the still small voice was missing for a few things I really wanted answers for yesterday. I know it's his timing and not mine but I was confident he was going to spell it out for me...today things happened today that only added to my confusion...was he testing me? Challanging me to remain steadfast and faithful, to continue listening for him even if it hurts. I don't know...so I sit...and try to be quiet...but the silence is so...silent.